I’m Coming Out

It’s been 6 months since I was diagnosed with cancer, 4 months since I got the mastectomy surgery, and 2 months since I started chemo. Today, I’m finally done! My last round of chemo was yesterday – November 14th. YAY! I’m finally done with the fear, the pain and the isolation I’ve felt all these months. I still have some follow ups but the hardest part is over. Thank God!

These past few months been very weird, because I felt like time has stopped for me. It’s like one of those movies where you see the main character watching the world around them going super fast, like speeding by. That’s what it’s been like. Being in some kind of parallel universe, that doesn’t belong to the one where everyone else is. My life had a huge “PAUSE” button.

And now, after all these months, I’m slowly coming out of my cancer bubble.

I have been on this race with blinders, focused on the finish line – holding on to my feelings, pushing them aside or simply suppressing them. I couldn’t get distracted. I had to keep going. But on the side, I had a ton of support from everyone cheering me up from the bleachers. And although I could see them, I couldn’t reach them. I had to stay on track. My finish line.

A had so many beautiful and thoughtful cards, flowers, gifts baskets, etc… but one that stood out to me was a beautiful card I got right after the surgery from a family friend. I wanted to share this message with you because I think we all go through rough patches in life and everyone can use a “pick me up”.

The front of the card read “Give it all you’ve got”. On the inside it read “that’s the best you can do” with the beautiful note she wrote for me:

I must have had you on my mind when I fell asleep last night because I woke up thinking about the monarch butterflies. You’re no doubt wondering what they have to do with you, so I’ll tell you:

Those beautiful butterflies go about their young lives as very resourceful caterpillars with a distinctive, striking color. They are hard working and have a singular purpose in mind – finding the right food and perfect place to live. They work very hard to make a home to cocoon in to rest. While resting, their bodies are completely changed. When the time is right they emerge as something different and everyone loves to see them and to celebrate what they have become. 

You are to be celebrated for who you are: beautiful, resourceful and oh so important to the world.

When I finished reading that card, oh boy, aside from crying, I yearned for that time when I would emerge and get to the other side of this experience and celebrate.

Today, I can finally say, I’M COMING OUT!

Here’s another nod to my 80’s love:


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