The Big Things

I’ve never been a super “religious” person, maybe because I went to a Catholic school full of repressed nuns and fanatic Catholic parents. And I say “religious” in quotes because you don’t have to punch yourself in the chest and preach in order to practice and be a GOOD person.

I have several close relatives that are big believers, big prayers, my parents including. Mostly older relatives that grew up that way. I guess the Church has lost some followers after years of oppression and hypocrisy.

So when something good happens to me I always use the word “lucky”. I don’t feel like after being so distant from the church that I have the right to say “blessed”. I feel like I have to pay my quota of prayers, church visits, eye rolls, communion, chest punches, etc to be able to claim I’m blessed. But after having this candid conversation with my aunt and father in-law, both strong believers, they told me, God is there, always. He doesn’t expect anything from you. He’s ready for when you’re ready to show up. And I honestly cannot ignore that I do feel his presence. I’m not that cynical.

I’ve felt that along these whole ordeal, I’ve been guided by a force bigger than myself. Guiding me. That even though I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was early stages. That even though I had a mastectomy, it was only one side. That even though I have to do chemo, it’s only 4 sessions just to lower my changes of recurrence down to 1%.

That’s BIG.

And so now, I reach out and say Thank you God for being next to me. I am blessed.

I’m blessed I was so persistent to go to the doctor and ask for a mammogram without ever feeling anything.

I’m blessed I live in a city where we have one of the best hospitals in the US

I’m blessed for having a wonderful wife who is so loving, supportive and above all patient with my mood swings while still holding my hand strong everyday

I’m blessed for my parents, my in-laws, close and extended family members who have respected my need for privacy, and have prayed and prayed. I feel the love

I’m blessed for a job that has truly allowed me to take care of my health

I’m blessed for my dogs who are my couch companions, lick-getters, and have taken the new job of therapy dogs. I’m FURever grateful

And I have to say, I’m super blessed because otherwise we would be super broke, that we have the health insurance we have. This was been a huge blessing.


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